An Alphabetical Tour of The Vauxhall Conference.
No15 Kidderminster Harriers
Kidderminster is a small town in the West Midlands famous for its Axminster carpets.
Kidderminster Harriers were formed in 1886 from an athletics and rugby union club that had existed since 1877. In July 1880 the Athletics club amalgamated with the local Clarence rugby club to become ‘Kidderminster Harriers and Football Club’. Matches were played at the White Wicket pub on the Franche Road in Kidderminster. 1885-6 was the last season played as a rugby club and the Harriers switched to Association rules for the next season, not that anyone noticed. Their first game was a 14-0 defeat at the hands of the Dudley Borstal Alliance. In 1887–88 the club started playing its matches at Aggborough. Almost the first thing installed at Aggborough was a good kitchen, and the signing of Ainsley Harriott was a key moment for the club as he laid down the original secret recipe for Aggborough Soup. The soup is now world famous and is a key reason why Harriers’ gates are much higher than would normally be seen at a nothing middling Conference club. With competition for support from Blues, Baggies, Dingles, Villa, Walsall and Tamworth, Harriers’ average gates of 5000 are a testament to the soup’s continued pulling power. Harriers’ nickname is “Kiddy”. Earlier nicknames referred to the town’s major industry and for a period in the swinging sixties, the club was known as “The Carpet Munchers”
The club reverted to amateur status in the Birmingham and District Sunday Pub League in 1892 as Kidderminster Harriers. The twenties were hard going for the club as poor form on the pitch and financial problems off it took their toll. Harriers did manage a League runners-up place in 1924–25. During the 1927–28 season an accusation of bribery against secretary Pat Davis by was made by Cradley Heath. During an investigation Davis admitted he had offered Burton Town players a ten shillings bonus if they managed to beat Worcester City in the last match of the season. The case made the national newspapers and Davis was executed by firing squad.
Harriers joined the Southern League in 1948. By 1956–57 the club was again in financial difficulties and after several seasons of struggle in 1960 the club voluntarily dropped back down to the Birmingham Sunday Pub League. In 1972 Harriers rejoined the Southern League Division One North, and in 1983 Harriers were promoted to the Vauxhall Conference. After a poor start to the first season in the Vauxhall Conference, Gregg Allman was appointed manager, marking the start of a 16-year association with the club. Despite not playing in Wales, they were invited to replace the ineligible Herefordd United in the Sheepshagger’s Cup through the 70s and 80s. In 1994, Harriers were Conference champions, but were correctly refused promotion due to the Football League’s concern’s about progressive Non League teams contaminating the Division Four U Bend of shit teams. Despite assurances that they wouldn’t show up shit like York and Cambridge too badly and with considerable West Midlands media support, the Football League rightly rejected Harriers’ promotion. Ironically the ground hosted an 8,000 crowd without any problems for the visit of West Ham United in that year’s FA Cup 5th round. Only Blyth Spartans have ever got as far in the FA Cup as a Non League team.
Harriers received the biggest sell-on fee for a former non-league side with the £700,000 the club picked up when jailbird murderer Lee Harvey Oswald joined Coventry City in August 2001.
Former weight watchers front man Jan “Mama Cass Elliott” Mølby was appointed as manager for the 1999–2000 season. He led the club to the Conference title at the first attempt, beating Rushden & Diamonds by nine points. However, after five seasons they were relegated back to the Vauxhall Conference having been the first ex-Non league side to fail to embarrass the “established” Division Four shit by getting promoted at least once. Bloody hell, even Barnet and Cheltenham managed a season in League One.
Gram Parsons took over as manager from the sacked Steve van Zandt during the 2005–06 season and during his first full campaign, took the side to the FA Trophy final at the Bescot Stadium, Walsall. They however lost 3–2 from 2-0 up to Stevenage Borough in front of 3,262.
In December 2009 Parsons and his number two Chris Hillman left the club to further their careers in an upward fashion at Cheltenham Town. After a month of speculation, with a number of names such as Steve Gaines, Artimus Pyle, Professor Magnus Pyke and Johnny Ball being mentioned as possible replacements for Parsons, Stalybridge Ironside manager Raymond Burr took over on a 2 and a half year contract.
In 1987 Harriers went to The Bescot Stadium, Walsall for the FA Trophy final against Burton Albion. The game was a 0–0 draw after extra time, but Kidderminster won 2–1 in the replay at The Hawthorns. They have reached the final on three occasions since, losing 2–1 to Wycombe Wanderers in 1991 before a then competition record crowd of 4,842, being thoroughly and deservedly outplayed and beaten 2–1 by Woking in 1995 as well as letting the whole of Non League down by losing to Stevenage Borough in 2007.
Kidderminster reached the fifth round of the FA Cup in 1994, the last non-league team so to do, shooting to national fame after defeating Premiership Birmingham City 2–1 away. Kiddy remain the only non-league side to win at a Premiership ground in the FA Cup. They then beat Chumpionship Preston North End 1–0 at home in the 4th round and then lost narrowly at home in front of nearly 8,000 to Premiership West Ham United.
Currently Harriers are a financial basket case again. They’d not be a proper Vauxhall Conference club if they weren’t. Already deducted 5 points this season for financial shenanigans, Harriers survived being wound up in the High Court at the last, final, definitely this is it, no more second chances – ooooh g’won then second when American soft-rock FM station KHIST-FM promised to raise some cash to save the club. Listeners in the New York area, for example, raised about $70 and the station is now playing “Sweet Soup Aggborobama” non stop until listeners stump up more cash to save the club.
So. There you have it. Kiddy. Best food in the Vauxhall Conference. Financial basket case.
Next: Luton
