The History of Mansfield

An Alphabetical Tour of The Vauxhall Conference.

No17 Mansfield Town

The question is, “What the fuck are Mansfield doing in the Vauxhall Conference?”

You see, Mansfield were never one of the typical Football League U-Bend Cloggee Clubs of yore, like Rochdale or Hartlepool. Mansfield seemed to exist quite happily alternating between the third and fourth tiers of the Football League without ever really threatening to get into the second tier*, or having to face the bum-clenching embarrassment of having to apply for re-election. Sort of like Bury or Scunthorpe. So how did this nice friendly little Derbyshire club find itself jettisoned from the League and down among the dead men of ex Football League clubs and parvenu scratter clubs of the Vauxhall Conference?

*Yes. I know that in 1977 they accidentally got promoted to the old Second Division, but amends were made 12 months later and they were back in Division Three double quick.

Mansfield Town was founded in 1897 under the name of Mansfield Wesleyans. Based in a disused church, the team’s first game was a 14-0 defeat to the Crooked Spire, a pub team from Chesterfield. The club changed its name to the present Mansfield Town in 1910, by which time they had moved to their current ground of Field Mill. Mansfield won election to the Football League in time for the 1931–32 season, replacing the defunct Wigan Borough. And from 1932 until 2008 Mansfield did precisely fuck all, spending a few seasons in the Third Division and then a few seasons in the Fourth and back again*. Throw one FL tinpot competition win on penalties and one solitary win over West Ham into the mix and there you have it. Fuck me, even Alfreton have more to boast about. Mansfield, along with Farnborough Town and Oxford United, are living proof that teams that play in yellow and blue win fuck all. Actually, that’s true. Shrewsbury and Cambridge also play in yellow and blue and they’ve both won fuck all as well. To be winners, teams should ideally play in red and white (with a bit of black, ideally) – a truism not lost on the Chipmunk when he was in charge at the San Cheerio. Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Mansfield. Yellow and blue!! Ha ha!!

The team’s home ground is Field Mill, which holds 10,000 seated spectators. In 1995 the club considered building a new stadium in the town, but opted to re-develop their existing ground instead. The re-developed ground consists of three new stands, whilst an old, now condemned, wooden stand is awaiting collection prior to delivery to an address in Oxford.

Since arrived somewhat unexpectedly in the Vauxhall Conference, Mansfield have somewhat reverted to type by settling in nicely and neither threatening the Play Off places or worrying Peaky by finishing below FGR. In fact, the only noteworthy or newsworthy event ever to happen to Mansfield was in 2008 when it was reported that John Batchelor, a bidder for Mansfield Town, planned to rename the club “Harchester United” after the fictional TV series Dream Team to make the club “more promotable” if his bid were a success. Fans and executives within the club both stated that they thought it was a “cracking idea Gromit”, but nothing came of it.

During the mid-1980s, Mansfield became unpopular with fans of Rotherham United, Barnsley and Cardiff City. Fans of these clubs referred to Mansfield as Scabs, a play on the club’s nickname of Stags. No-one knows the reason, and no-one cares either. Mansfield’s local derby match is against Chesterfield. A Derby derby, if you will. Which is odd, because down here in Vauxhall Conferenceland one would expect Chesterfield’s derby match to be against Chester. Except it isn’t. It’s against Mansfield.

So. There you have it. Mansfield. Scabs, according to Cardiff.

Next: Newport